For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
