the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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