Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
