I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
