If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
