Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
