you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
