I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
