she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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