does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
