Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
