I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
