last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
