David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I need moral support for this bender
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
