i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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