they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he thought i was a dude.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
