come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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