and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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