my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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