my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
