1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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