it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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