we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
