i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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