I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
