hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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