Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize