It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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