Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
