you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
