So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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