i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Houston, we have a blender
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
