She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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