I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
