I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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