Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
