Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
everyone is single if you try hard enough
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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