ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
