i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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