you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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