Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
