I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize