Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
