I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
