were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
