Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
