i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
