I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize