Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
