Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
ttyl tear gas
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
