i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
