There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
