bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
