PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
