remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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