Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
kristin has been a bad kristin
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
