just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
