Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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