Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize