A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
