I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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