Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
