Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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