so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
